10 Reasons Why the Sword is Mightier than the Bulldozer

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Transported through time, a knight and his squire smash a car in Les Visiteurs

A young woman clad in rusted armor stands alone in the desert.

Behind her lies a village wrought from scraps of the ruined world—huts of rusted sheet metal and fractured concrete, torn fabric tents rustling in a dry wind. Before her looms the enormous frame of a towering machine—its rusted limbs screeching as it plods toward her, less than a hundred steps from crushing her village beneath its iron hooves.

She quickly turns to face her village where the frightened eyes of her people look on from the shadowy doorways, or peek between the shards of rubble which surround the dusty shanties. With a deep breath, she draws her blade from its scabbard, and pulls its gleaming tip across the sand at her feet.

“Only one of us shall cross this line today…” she utters, and turns around again to fix her eyes upon the advancing machine, gripping the hilt of her sword until her fingers throb.

Obviously in real life, a broadsword, spear, or battle-axe would make a pretty poor choice in a boxing match with a bulldozer.

Yet in the world of Terragaste where my upcoming novel takes place, characters frequently resort to medieval weapons to attack and destroy enormous chunks of machinery.

So the big question is—why medieval weapons?

I mean—wouldn’t a gun, a rocket launcher, or an EMP prove massively more effective?

Sure it would, but this begs the question, “Effective at what?”

At destroying machines?

Of course.

At weaving an exciting tale?

Maybe not.

Here’s ten reasons why the warriors of Terragaste use swords to dismantle industrial hardware.

Transported through time, a knight and his squire smash a Renault in Les Visiteurs

Transported through time, a knight and his squire smash a car in Les Visiteurs

A young woman clad in rusted armor stands alone in the desert.

Behind her lies a village wrought from scraps of the ruined world—huts of rusted sheet metal and fractured concrete, torn fabric tents rustling in a dry wind. Before her looms the enormous frame of a towering machine—its rusted limbs screeching as it plods toward her, less than a hundred steps from crushing her village beneath its iron hooves.

She quickly turns to face her village where the frightened eyes of her people look on from the shadowy doorways, or peek between the shards of rubble which surround the dusty shanties. With a deep breath, she draws her blade from its scabbard, and pulls its gleaming tip across the sand at her feet.

“Only one of us shall cross this line today…” she utters, and turns around again to fix her eyes upon the advancing machine, gripping the hilt of her sword until her fingers throb.

Obviously in real life, a broadsword, spear, or battle-axe would make a pretty poor choice in a boxing match with a bulldozer. [click to continue…]

Special Report: Standing Up to the Bigots

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Categories: Special Report, Tags: , , , , , , ,

Peter Chordas giving some street preaching bigots a hard time.

Today, I’d like to share with you an End Times Gazette Special Report from my week.

Last Saturday afternoon I was down at the Portland Saturday Market hawking filigree for Laceworks Jewelry, when some street preachers decided to show up and start shouting about God’s wrath and whatnot through a megaphone at all the people sitting down to eat lunch with their families in the food court.

What happened next was priceless, but before I tell you about it I want to give you a sense of what these bigots were banging on about.

This is going to get pretty ugly, so please bear with me.

@PeterChordas trolling the bigots. "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!" #imwithstupidHello Warriors of the Wasteland,

Today, I’d like to share with you an End Times Gazette Special Report from my week.

Last Saturday afternoon I was down at the Portland Saturday Market hawking filigree for Laceworks Jewelry, when some street preachers decided to show up and start shouting about God’s wrath and whatnot through a megaphone at all the people sitting down to eat lunch with their families in the food court.

What happened next was priceless, but before I tell you about it I want to give you a sense of what these bigots were banging on about.

This is going to get pretty ugly, so please bear with me. [click to continue…]

The “Impossible” Invention that Could Save the World

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Categories: Apocalypt-o-meter, Tags: , , , ,

What if I told you we could have hoverboards, flying cars, long-range space missions, AND salvation from our petrol-powered immanent global destruction?

What if I told you it could happen within our lifetimes?

What if I told you—it's happening RIGHT NOW?

FlyingDeLorean

Apocalypt-O-Meter reading 10%!

Apocalypt-O-Meter = 10%

What if I told you we could have hoverboards, flying cars, long-range space missions, AND salvation from our petrol-powered immanent global destruction?

What if I told you it could happen within our lifetimes?

What if I told you—it’s happening RIGHT NOW? [click to continue…]

Are Humans Engineering the Next Mass Extinction?

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Categories: Apocalypt-o-meter, Tags: , , , ,

Petrol Triggered Bummer Extinction 2.0 — Now with 50% More Bipeds! Coming soon to an ecosystem near you…

Sorry to disturb you, preoccupied as you surely are with the endless and ultimately futile struggle for existential perpetuation, however I have some news which may come as somewhat of a disappointment.

Science has yet again found evidence that we're killing ourselves off while taking copious other unsuspecting creatures out with us in an apocalyptic "two-for-one" special.

What's the deadly discovery this time around?

human fossils

Apocalypt-O-Meter reading 90%!

Apocalypt-O-Meter = 90%

Sorry to disturb you, preoccupied as you surely are with the endless and ultimately futile struggle for existential perpetuation, however I have some news which may come as somewhat of a disappointment.

Science has yet again found evidence that we’re killing ourselves off while taking copious other unsuspecting creatures out with us in an apocalyptic “two-for-one” special.

What’s the deadly discovery this time around? [click to continue…]

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